NoCtUrNaL_BeAm

October 4, 1999

2004-06-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I’d like to die
And kiss the day goodbye
Sometimes, I’d like to lie down
And lay still on the ground.

Sometimes, I’d like to weep
Until I fall asleep
Sometimes, I’d like to think
Until my body sinks.

Sometimes, I’d like to pray
That I be happy and gay
Sometimes, I’d like to wish
That I swim like a fish.

Sometimes, I’d like to live
All the things that I believe
Sometimes, I’d like to breathe
All the things that go shit.

Sometimes, I’d like to start
And fade away in the dark
Sometimes, I’d like to end
And follow how they bend.

Sometimes, I’d like to whisper
“Farewell”
Sometimes, I’d like to shout
“I’m gone.”

SOPHIA SPAGHETTI

2004-06-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

“So this is Barrio Mapagkumbaba. Hmmm, I wonder where the party is”, Sophia Spaghetti’ s noodle strands stretched as she tried to peek in at the place. Bright green, red, blue and yellow triangle-shaped objects danced over the big crowds. There were people everywhere. Children came running one after another. Different sounds filled the air – bells ringing, men laughing and women chatting endlessly. But the loudest of them all were the trumpets and drums of silver-uniformed men marching. Leading the parade were ladies in golden dresses gracefully twirling batons and wowing everybody watching.

Sophia Spaghetti knew then that she was to be a big hit in this merry happening. So she twirled in her thick tomato sauce, showing off her cheesy bits. “My, I always look best in this velvety red gown. Everyone will say bellissima when they see me – because I am truly beautiful… mmmwah”.

Next thing Sophia Spaghetti knew, she was placed on a very long table covered with a huge banana leaf. She quickly swirled her slightly misplaced meatballs and looked at her companions. What she saw surprised her. “Who… what are you!” Sophia Spaghetti screeched.

The others stared at Sophia Spaghetti for a moment. Sapin-Sapin who glowed with her violet, yellow and red colors squealed with delight, “Welcome to our fiesta!” It was the thin noodles with lots of vegetables, which spoke next. “Hi, ” she curled up shyly, “I’m Pasing Pancit Bihon and I am very pleased to meet you, miss --? ”

“Who is she to ask my name as if she does not recognize me!” Sophia Spaghetti could only mumble. Aloud she said, “I am So-phee-ya Spaghetti from the great Pasta family! So, is this the party? In this small and dusty place?”

Pasing Pancit Bihon shamefully hid under her cabbage bits and meat chunks. Her brother Cardo Pancit Canton, who was short, stout, and yellowish, answered instead, “This is a fiesta! We give thanks to our patron saint who is very good to us. And during fiestas, we have banderitas, those colorful triangles that you see hanging around.” Cardo Pancit Canton was proud of his town.

Sophia Spaghetti was annoyed because she does not know anything about a fiesta. “We have none of these foolish things in the big city. What we have are plenty of colorful and blinking lights – everywhere, every night.”

“Wow, you came from the big city!” cried the white round-shaped Putos as they bumped into one another. “We’ve always wanted to go there,” they went on excitedly.

As she curved to look at them, her noodles gave out a loud swishing. “Huh, what on earth are you! You are totally black, like mud!” Beside the Putos was the deep bowl of Dinuguan, which turned even darker. Dino Dinuguan grew sad over the rude remark about his color so he kept silent.

Then Sophia Spaghetti smelled something bad. “What’s that dreadful odor? Oh, I can’t bear to be on this table anymore!” The pot of orange Kare-Kare bubbled up in anger, “That is my good friend Bong Bagoong. Never judge him by his smell because once you taste him, you will surely like him. We make a good team.”

“Mare Kare-Kare, control yourself. Miss Sophia Spaghetti here is our guest. We should make her feel at home.” Bong Bagoong was not at all offended by how Sophia Spaghetti treated him. “Let us all introduce ourselves so that she will know us better.”

But before anyone could start, Sophia Spaghetti sneered. “I bet Bong Bagoong and Dino Dinuguan will be the champion leftovers here because they are the ugliest! Shee-hee-hee!”

The others remained quiet but Sophia Spaghetti did not seem to notice. She continued talking and scoffing at the same time. “Why do you have such funny names? But then again, they suit you well because you are all so funny looking. I bet the visitors won’ t eat you at all. Their stomachs will ache from laughing hard simply by looking at you.” Sophia Spaghetti shook with laughter until her meatballs and cheese scattered.

The roasted pig lying on the middle, the King of every fiesta table, has been observing Sophia Spaghetti. In all his shining glory, he declared, “A-hoink…A-hoink. I am the honorable Judge Listo Lechon. As everybody know, ” and he looked at the others meaningfully, “it is my duty to restore the peace and order on this table. Sophia Spaghetti…”

Sophia Spaghetti hastily interrupted and spoke in her most dramatic voice. “I, the fairest of all noodles – the whitest and firmest of them all – is expected to listen to an old dark-skinned hog like you! My, why don’t you just nibble on that apple in your mouth.”

The rest got angry. To disrespect the wise and honorable Judge Listo was the last straw. They all prepared to attack Sophia Spaghetti with their vegetable and meat weapons. A food fight was about to take place when, like the true leader that he was, Judge Listo Lechon shook his head slowly and said, “Now, now, please calm yourselves. Do not ever forget that we are here for the same reason. Our duty is to feed the hungry and make everyone happy.”

Sophia Spaghetti, who grew scared at the sight of Pasing Pancit Bihon ready to hurl carrot sticks at her, now sighed with relief. She jeered at the others once again, “Don’t be so jealous. I’m sure that after they finish eating me, they will turn to you.” “Sometimes, it’s just so hard to be the best,” she whispered to herself.

Finally, somebody shouted -- “It’s eating time.”

Sophia Spaghetti felt the heat of excitement. “Now, these dishes will certainly die of envy,” she snickered.

All the people flocked to the long table. Each one wanted to taste the dishes served. All the dishes, on the other hand, desired to be tasted.

Elders and children gathered near Pasing Pancit Bihon. Everyone liked her crisp vegetables and delicious chorizos. Pasing Pancit Bihon was glad that she pleased the guests.

Everyone praised Cardo Pancit Canton because he was tasteful with all the large chunks of vegetables, pork, and chicken. Cardo Pancit Canton exchanged smiles with his sister.

The combination of Dinuguan and Puto was naturally a fiesta favorite. So was the popular pair of Kare-Kare and Bagoong. And, of course, Sapin-sapin was the number one dessert.

Each dish had fun except Sophia Spaghetti. Nobody had tasted her sweet red sauce or noticed her cheesy dress. She felt like crying. She never felt so embarrassed in her entire spaghetti life. She asked herself, “Why don’t they want to eat me?”

Pasing Pancit Bihon glanced at Sophia Spaghetti and saw that she was sinking in her thick sauce. She coiled into a smile to cheer her up, “Don’t worry. They’re going to like you, too. It’s not everyday that people here see something like you.”

Sophia Spaghetti then felt sad as she realized how vain and proud she was. She remembered how she mocked Dino Dinuguan and Bong Bagoong. She was deeply ashamed at the way she looked down on the other dishes as if she was the only one beautiful. She spoke softly, “I am very sorry. Please forgive me for being mean. The honorable Judge Listo Lechon was right. We were made beautiful to give happiness to everybody.”

All the dishes gave Sophia Spaghetti a warm smile. Bong Bagoong then remarked, “Hey, arrange your meatballs and grated cheese now. Your guests are here.”

Quick little footsteps rushed to the table. Sophia Spaghetti recognized that one of them was the cute girl who grated cheese for her. The girl asked her two playmates, “Hey, why don’t you both have spaghetti? It tastes good.” One of the playmates answered, “We’re not used to that kind of food. Is it like pancit?” The other made a face, “Yuck, is that blood all over?” The girl urged her playmates, “C’mon, just try it.”

The playmates grabbed forks and scooped up Sophia Spaghetti. They fell silent for awhile and then exclaimed, “You’re right, it’s delicious – it’s sour-sweet!”

The three children called on their other playmates and relatives to taste the spaghetti. Everybody loved her.

Sophia Spaghetti was so happy. She did not even notice that only a few noodle strands were left. She twisted in a wide grin at the honorable Judge Listo Lechon and he could only wink in approval.

Pilipino...

2004-06-13T10:04:00.000+08:00

Malamig na hangin
kumot sa katawan
nitong mandirigma,
sahig ang kanlungan.

Nakapikit ang mga mata
mga labing nagpipigil
ng marahang pagsambit
ng libong panalangin.

Pilitin mang matulog
diwa ay kusang gigising
lilisanin ang panaginip
may himig ng uyayi.

Malakas na pag-ungol
bakas sa mukha
pakikibakang pasakit
kalaban ay sino?

Pait ng nakaraan
asin sa sugat
malaya at sariwa
tuluyang naghihingalo.

Impit na pag-iyak
hikbing kumakawala
gustuhin mang lumimot
hapdi ang ala-ala.

Bangungot ang pag-asa
iyon ang pamuksa
sa katawang pagal
sa kaluluwang patay.

Ngunit angkin niya
dugong marangal
hindi pasusupil
anuman ang wakas.

Maliit man ang apoy
sa kalungkutan ng gabi
ito’y magniningas
kasabay ng tala.

Yakap ang tapang
siya’y mahihimbing
gigising sa umaga
sisilay sa araw.

Siya’y mandirigma
Dugo ang sandata.

When I said I loved you…

2004-06-13T08:10:00.000+08:00

I was not thinking of Eden
or an island ever virgin,
neither of a palace in the heavens.

I was not looking at the sun’s rays
blinded by brilliance
or the glowing boldness.

I was not hearing chimes
of yin and yang
or classical music.

I was not smelling cocoa
on a rainy afternoon
seducing the wind.

I was not tasting marshmallows
vanilla and vainly sitting
on my ice cream.

I was not touching the face
of Venus’ perfection;
nonchalant to Cupid’s tickle.

When I said I loved you…
I was not shouting at the top of my lungs
I was not even listening to my voice.

It was only a whisper of a heartbeat
that probably got drowned
in the ocean of bliss.

Time...

2004-06-09T09:25:00.000+08:00

Infallible as you are to Einstein
I cannot help but regard you
With such wariness.

Understandably so...
You, which I cannot see, smell, and touch
Only feel.

The sun seizing
Moments of life
Dancing rapidly.

The shapeless moon
Tiptoes in the dark
Leaving shadows.

Raindrops wooing
Leaves golden yet shy
Snow on a postcard.

Fallen friendships
Ceased breathing
Withered youth.

Love forgotten
Unrequited
Gone.

Love resurrected
Untamed
Still.

Past… Present… Future…
You, without hands
Bare of emotions.

Are you an ally?
An adversary?
Or just here to stay?

R_i_D_d_L_e

2004-06-07T08:09:00.000+08:00

YoU are the RiDdLe of the MiNd
that pierces the brains
and inhabits the skull
a sanctuary to your mystery.

How long will you stay?
How deep will you probe?
How much will you remain --
A marked question?

Words without rhyme
Fragments void of logic
Sentence unadulterated
Truth naked and fragrant.

Fallen

2004-06-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

Eternal goodness, with hearts of light
Bringer of truth and justice with might
Slays the demons that wrought havoc and despair
To those faithless, hopeless, without care

Unending battle for the undying light
Forever vigilant to what is right
One day the Spirit will prevail
Death to the torments that it entails

The spirit of light resides in us all
It is within, the battle in our core
Ourselves is the final ground to stand
For we are the temple blessed by God's hand

Living temple of God, Masters of creation
We are key to the triumph of the Fallen's liberation
It's not written but it can be done
The fallen as the victor and the salvation of none

Never weary, forever awake
Demons of sin exists to desecrate
Spirit of light, Sentinels of the temple
Defend us, we are weak, be our example

Without the Spirit we are gone
Our temporal will amounts to none
Just a sweet whisper from the fallen
Will sever our line to heaven

Minions of the dark, unseen evil of the world
Torments the desecrated with horrors untold
Constantly is the time and the struggle for all
Ours is the burden, are we destined to fall?

Platonic

2004-06-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

Did I say platonic? I cannot recall
What matters most is the present, not was said before

I was seized by your wit and entangled in your charm
Calmed by your words taintless of harm

Your prized presence, attention and thought
Like the others from you, I have fervently sought

I thought it was fleeting, your addictive hold on me
Waiting for it to pass thinking I’ll be free

I realized that time was not truly potent
I have to break my way out from your enchantment

My reason as my sword and my will as my shield
I have broken your spell, my quest fulfilled

The final blow that brought my struggles to an end
Was the fear of losing you as a dear friend

Did I say platonic? Now I recall
What matters most is the present and what will be from now on